Science! Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans® Taste Test
Some of you may be wondering how the 12 flavors of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans® stack up. Wait no further, my friend. Our crack research team consisting of a 5½ year old boy and his Mum, through exhaustive trials, tests and re-tests mind you, have come up with definitive rankings. Our bag had a total of 20 different flavors, but only 12 were Bertie Bott’s.
Here they are, from Ugh! to Yum!
- Rotten Egg (gagging and running to the wastebasket was involved) DRAMA!
- Sardine (vocal protests and unintelligible noises)
- Vomit (bugged eyes)
- Soap (leaving the
tablelab area and running around flapping arms) more DRAMA! - Pickle (lots of “Yuck!” noises)
- Black Pepper (major faces without much noise)
- Sausage (slightly lesser faces)
- Dirt (grimacing)
- Grass
- Earthworm
- Booger (not so bad)
- Ear Wax
- Cinnamon (the first non-Bertie Bott)
- Tutti Fruitti (”That was terrible, do it again!” he cried, laughing.)
- Cherry
- Blueberry
- Grape Jelly
- Buttered Popcorn
- Toasted Marshmallow
- Lemon Drop
Note: flavors > 12 (Cinnamon) are Jelly Bellies™, not Bertie Bott’s®. Thus, the last seven or so are pretty good, but towards the top of the list — not so much… I guess that makes the Bertie Bott’s, well, disgusting. 
Of course, your mileage may vary.
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